Day 4

It's already been 4 days since Mumbles went to the Rainbow Bridge. In some ways it doesn't feel that long and in other ways it seems like it has been so much longer. each morning I have woken up missing him more than I did the day before. The only comfort that I have is that I know I will see him again along with all my other lost cats and loved ones when it is my time to go. Meanwhile I am still so full of doubts and second guessing myself. I know that he was ready to go but I wasn't ready to let him go, I probably would have never been ready for that. He is out of his pain and suffering and that is what matters the most.

What amazes me the most though is how people, even ones that claim to have loved him and animals in general, are or seem to be so indifferent to his loss. They act like it doesn't bother them or miss him while I can barely keep myself together. They act like I am reacting too much to it. What I guess is they don't really understand what he meant to me.

There is so much that I want to remember about him that I don't know where to start. The way we met. The way he would shred the toilet paper when he got mad at you. The way he loved to play fetch with his mieces, bump in the rug. The way he would watch me getting ready for work in the mornings and when I was just about ready he would grab something, run off with it and hide it under the rug to try to keep me from leaving. When that didn't work he would lay by the front door and bite me when I tried to move him. I will miss him biting me awake in the mornings even when the alarm didn't go off, I will miss the way he used to sit and beg during meal times with his head tipped like a dog a with tears in his eyes, I will miss the way he was so impatient for his canned food screaming that I was too slow with it. I will miss the way he would great me at the door when I came home, the way he would come in to the bathroom a head of me and wouldn't let me get to the toilet. I will miss all of his little quirks like loving Saltine Crackers or crackers of any kind, stealing my brussels sprouts, the tail that never stopped moving. Most of all I will miss his body heat on a cold night, his soft but yet deep purr, his soft muffled meow and the most of all is I will miss his love.

Each of the other 3 cats are all missing him too and they are all trying to take over one or more of his little lovable quirks but they will never take his place. Nor do they need to, they all have their own place in my heart and their own little things that are so endearing to me. I want them to be their selves.